Sing it to the tune of The Farmer In The Dell. Yeah, Omar Comin’ style. I hate this holiday.
OK, that’s not fair. I don’t hate Valentine’s Day. But I dislike the mad commercial pressure to suddenly gift up in February when it’s freezing where I live, and I’ve barely recovered from the winter holiday giftstravaganza. I don’t just hate it because I grew up all hippie-like and anti-commercial, either: I truly believe Valentine’s Day can be unhealthy for relationships and romance. I’ll elaborate on that stance more and more as February 14th draws nearer.
“VD,” as a friend coined it, also serves to make single people feel horrible. Not being handed a giant stuffed bear or a dozen over-priced red roses is not that big of a deal, but when the entire rest of the world turns red and pink, of COURSE you feel blue. (See what I did there?) And check out what my AMAZING single friend Anna just tweeted yesterday:
Even the OED is nagging me about my love life. I subscribe to their word-a-day mailing and today’s word is “opsigamy.” Thanks for the nudge.
— Anna Megill (@cynixy) February 5, 2013
Opsigamy, in case you also had to look it up, is defined as “Marriage at an advanced age.” Now Anna is no octogenarian; she’s also a badass confident single gal with an amazing career. I feel like this well-meaning Word of the Day is totally innocuous, but realistically we all get sensitive around this time of the year for silly societal reasons. And if we’re in Sensitive Mode, then this little WotD is an example of TWO subtle societal slaps; one about being single in February, Cupid forbid, and the other about being single and over, say, nineteen years of age. OED, STFU (this time). Who doesn’t love a holiday designed to make the OED look mean? :)
Cupid barbs aside, I DO get into the spirit of Valentine’s Day because it’s easier to beat ’em than join ’em. Just like how I baked a cake shaped like a horseshoe when the Colts went to (and won!) the Super Bowl during my first year of courtship with Grant. Heck, for our first Valentine’s Day together, I went out of my way to get him a bespoke red “VETO” stamp just like President Jed Bartlett used on The West Wing. And I’m taking out my first “big girl” ads for my business around V-Day, because like it or not, it’s a huge milestone in the market of any dating business, and I want to help people find love! But please don’t ask me to eat one of those stupid corn-syrup-filled truffles or so help me Cupid I will throw the whole box at you. I’m sure you can understand.