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How to get free dating help via Steady

As y’all know, I just launched Steady, a call-in dating and relationship advice podcast on 5by5. This is a great way for people who can’t afford my coaching to get their questions answered for FREE!

In case you’re unfamiliar with podcasts or 5by5 or me, I wanted to give y’all a few tidbits about how to make the most of calling in to Steady. ;)

Well, here’s me, preparing my voice for an hour of chatting about your love lives!


The basics of calling in

Because Steady is a call-in podcast that broadcasts live as well as being downloadable later, it’s kind of different than your average podcast today. It’s a little more like old-school terrestrial radio—think more “Loveline” than “Savage Lovecast,” if that makes sense. (Those are two terrific advice podcasts I’ve adored for years, by the way, even though I think we all tackle slightly different niches.)

In order to get on Steady, you need to call during 8-9 PM Eastern on Thursdays. The show can be heard live at during that time slot every week. To get on hold, you just call 512-518-5714 during that time! (But please, only call during those hours. The studio is working on other shows the rest of the week and needs to keep the lines open.) Land lines sound best, but you can call from a cell if you’re in a quiet place. Note that wind is surprisingly loud, so avoid that too please!

Once you call in, the call system (Dan calls it “the Ansible“) makes it super easy to understand. A little automated voice tells you you’re on hold, you can listen to the live show and follow along while you wait, and it announces before I put you on the air so there’s no stress or confusion about it. Then we just talk about whatever’s on your mind!

Leaving a voicemail

If you want to leave a voicemail, you can call 512-766-LOVE (5683) and record a message. Make sure you only include information that you want to have played on the air! We don’t have much ability to edit messages, so please try to be clear and concise. As with live calls, a land line is preferable but not required. Just don’t be, ya know, vacuuming or ripping up paper in the background. :)

If you can’t call, write!

I know how hard it can be to muster up the courage and free time and privacy to call in to a love advice show. Therefore, while actual live callers are always going to be preferable and prioritized first, I’ve decided to accept some email submissions too since I want to help even those of you who can’t or won’t call in live.

Email with any podcast questions, and make sure to anonymize any information you want me to make anonymous on the air, such as your real first name. It’s on you to deliver me something I *could* read verbatim, even though I may edit things down to better fit the show. You can also tweet me or the show with the hashtag #AskSteady.

Hope to hear from you soon one way or another!

Be willing to share!

I tell my online dating clients this all the time—I can ask some kind of prying questions, and of course you only have to answer what you’re comfortable with. But the more candid you can be, the better I can understand your situation and help you figure out how to tackle it!

Sometimes, I hear from people who want my help (for free), but are hesitant to call the podcast with their questions because they think it won’t make for good audio. To that, I say, quit trying to do my job! :)

It’s *my* responsibility to make sure this show is entertaining, informative, helpful, fun, etc. for listeners. Your only mission, should you choose to accept it, is to call during the appointed time and tell me what’s going on in your love life (or lack thereof).

I promise that even the most mundane or crazy story (in your mind) is actually fascinating to listeners—that’s why advice shows and columns have been so popular for so many years. People love hearing about other people’s problems, haha. And they often learn a lot and relate elements of your story to their own situations, even when you wouldn’t be able to make those connections yourself. Basically, don’t sweat it—just call, and I promise the rest will fall into place!

I love talking to people about quick and simple things that can be resolved in a two-minute call, but I also love getting into nitty-gritty complicated stuff. And even though I’m a white married cis mostly-straight gal, I fear no demographic—I’ve been working with clients all over the place for years, and I’m happy to talk about issues like race in dating, polyamory, gender identity and perception, you name it. I may not be a total expert in every topic you can hurl my way, but that doesn’t mean you won’t find the discussion sympathetic, helpful, and hopefully entertaining.

So please, bring it on—I’d love to hear from you, no matter what’s going on on your end!

How else can you help?

First of all, the VERY BEST thing you can do to help the show (aside from calling in live and supporting the sponsors) is to subscribe, rate, and review it in iTunes. (Even if you actually listen via a different method.) That helps a ton!

And of COURSE I’ll be over the moon if we keep up that five star rating… but I also want to hear your honest feedback, whether it’s in a review or in a more direct communication to me. (You can tweet me or the show, you can email me, you can track me or the show down on Facebook, etc.) One way or another, I welcome your input.

Sharing the show with other people is super helpful, too, especially if you feel like they could use some advice themselves! Tweet it, Facebook it, email it, whatever works for your peeps.

5by5 bonus stuff :)

I know some people might not be familiar with all the bells and whistles of podcasts on 5by5, so I wanted to share a bit of a beginner’s guide to that network. :)

If you listen via, you can log in to the IRC chat room and follow along with the other 5by5 fans (affectionately called “jackals,” but don’t worry, most of them don’t bite). People discuss the show, suggest show titles, and try to distract me while I’m talking, haha. All in good fun!

To suggest a title, type “!s” and then a space and then the title. So, for example, if you heard me say the hilarious title-worthy phrase “You Can Text in the Bathtub” (the title for episode 1), you would type “!s You Can Text in the Bathtub” into the IRC chat window. No need to worry about perfect title case; I’ll fix it for ya. And titles don’t HAVE to be things that were said on the show, it’s just the usual convention.

Where do these title suggestions go, you might ask? Showbot! If you load that page, you can see who suggested which titles, and upvote your favorite ones to help me pick a winner after each episode. It’s pretty fun when your suggestion ends up being the winner for a given episode! :)

So there you have it! Any questions? What did I miss? I can’t wait to take your calls!

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