Latest Blog Posts

A different kind of catfish

Sorry I’ve been a little absent, lovebirds! Grant and I have relatives coming to stay with us this week, so I’ve been running around cleaning and organizing and laundering and scented candling (as you do). I believe I can call my efforts triumphant, but I’ve still got a bit of work ahead of me. So instead of a huge deep dive blog post, I’m mostly going to leave you with this link to peruse. (I suspect I would’ve found it on my own thanks to Google News, but Dave Pell of NextDraft brought it my way first.)

At school, I was the woefully Aspergian weirdo that few if any kids liked, overwhelming my peers with television trivia they didn’t care to hear and derailing lesson plans with digressive questions my teachers were sick of me asking.

But at home, I retreated to the Internet where I was no longer the overweight 3rd grader who had on more than one occasion had birthday party invitations returned to her. I was Tom, the charming 17-year-old boy who had successfully wooed a teen mom from Arizona he’d met on Yahoo!Games.

What a fascinating different perspective, that paints the catfisher in a much more sympathetic light. I wouldn’t be surprised if we started to see a few more stories like this trickle in, as well as more honesty about romance and friendships started in the annals of AOL and IRC chatrooms.

Anyway, I’m off to go rearrange furniture and vacuum a bit more, in the borderline-compulsive fashion befitting a family visit, haha, and then record a VERY SPECIAL PODCAST EPISODE with a VERY SPECIAL FUNNY GUEST. Top secret until he (gender spoilers!) gives me permission to get all vocal about it. Have a lovely weekend!

The truth about lies

There’s a recent study out about how a bunch of guys tell a bunch of lies in their dating profiles.  Specifically, the creepy-to-me auction-style online dating site What’s Your Price conducted a “study” which found that 30% of men in NYC lied in their online dating profile. They go on to rank truthfulness by major […]

A broader definition of online dating

Most of the consulting I do relates to online dating sites, such as or eHarmony. However, lots of people meet through media that are a little less obviously online-datey. In fact, a pal of mine just got married to someone that she had met via an AOL chatroom from her teenage years! I’ve also […]

On managing your sexy pics

Today on Episode 8 of The Crossover was an important discussion on sexual harassment.* Well-known UI designer and speaker Sarah Parmenter experienced some seriously vile treatment during a conference she spoke at last year. Some jackass faked porn pictures of her, posted them publicly, and went out of his way to notify everyone in her […]

The inevitable Manti Teʻo post

In light of the Manti Teʻo scandal(?), I felt like I should weigh in but I wasn’t quite sure what to contribute. I have no idea whether the guy was lying about whether his online relationship with Kekua was a hoax or not, and the ultimate truth or fiction determination isn’t what interests me most in […]

Crazy Blind Date by OKCupid

Have you guys toyed with Crazy Blind Date, the new OKCupid service? No pics, just pick a time and place and agree to meet up. Forbes covered this launch, and OKCupid wiped the photos from all regular online dating profiles on Tuesday to promote the new service. From the Forbes piece: For both men and […]

Please stay safe, daters!

A couple recent security issues have cropped up — enough to remind me to beg all you online daters to stay safe and sound! Recently, Gawker Media’s entire username and password database was compromised. So please, be prudent and switch up your passwords for all of your email accounts and online dating sites (as well […]

Technical Incompatibilities

I just came across this article about technical incompatibilities with dating, and it definitely struck a chord.  I can’t stress this enough, daters: Make your level of tech comfort clear from the beginning! Folks who hate email or texting are likely to wind up insanely annoyed by folks who can’t get enough Twitter in one […]

Get my blog posts via email!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join my free mailing list!

Sign up for The Heartographer newsletter—online dating advice
Optional, but I like knowing who the human is that subscribed. :)
Optional but helpful for me, especially if we know each other IRL or online!
* = required field