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Twitter Tips for Tinder™

Hey all! A Twitter pal recently shared an insight on how he used Tinder to great success.

If you ever need to help someone whose preferred type of partner is “silly with a hint of bitterness” – putting “idiot” as the only word in the Tinder bio works wonders. It’s a scarily good filter.

I agree! Let’s get all analytical for a sec and talk about WHY this works well.


I’m always telling you guys that humor is essential in online dating, right? But Tinder doesn’t leave you loads and loads of space to show off just how effortlessly breezy your joke style is. Making use of what space it does give you with a quip like this is an excellent way to show that light-heartedness very concisely.

Brevity (= witty)

Need I say more? ;)

Kindness (but not smothering kindness)

Humor often requires a target. *Someone* is the butt of most jokes. When you yourself are the target, you’re not being mean or making fun of other people. By default it makes you seem that much nicer. But that snark is still in there, so you’re not JUST a softie.


I’ve talked about this before, but it bears repeating here: self deprecation is actually a form of humblebragging about how great you are and how confident you feel about yourself. After all, if you’re secure enough to make fun of yourself, it shows that you actually do know in your heart that you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

So what does your Tinder bio say? Mine is pretty boring by necessity, because it’s actually marketing copy instead of dating copy. It’s how I make it clear that I’m an online dating coach and not some great Tinder nerd catch, haha. So I try to keep it light-hearted by rotating through a roster of silly pictures. But *your* Tinder bio should be silly and fun!

This particular picture is mainly just to amuse me.


OkCupid removed unpopular questions

Tons of my clients use OkCupid, and sometimes I have access to their profile backends for when we’re working on new writing, or when I need to see detailed info on their messaging or browsing history. The other day, I was working with one such client and I noticed something weird. Two specific questions seemed to […]

Learning from NYC’s most popular singles

NY Magazine ran a fascinating interview with NYC’s four most popular OkCupid members—a straight gal, a straight guy, a gay gal, and a gay guy. Check out these (clearly highly stylized) swanky portraits: I urge you to read the entire piece. It’s fun! But if you want to skip right to the practical takeaways, here […]

Wired’s online dating infographics

Last week Wired came out with a pseudo-article entitled  How to Create the Perfect Online Dating Profile, in 25 Infographics. Today, Amanda Hess came out with a great follow-up article identifying that many of the Wired tips involved breaking out of more traditional gender stereotypes. Amanda’s not wrong, in the sense that Wired’s data does often […]

Why you shouldn’t pay for eHarmony Plus

Ever since I’ve started seeing trailers for The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, I’ve also seen a plethora of links about eHarmony’s new Plus service. This is a new offering in which you pay an expert $5,000 to be your personal online dating… surrogate. They call it a ‘matchmaking professional,’ but in many ways, it’s […]

The Pew (Pew! Pew!) Report

The Pew Internet & American Life Project is a mouthful. (And I’m sorry, but I couldn’t resist a dorky post title!) They recently released a report about online dating and relationships—you can read an overview here, or the full report here. Surveys like this are always interesting, but they’re hardly comprehensive. After all, you can’t […]

Singles Warehouse piece

Hey folks, hope you all had a lovely weekend! Grant and I had an overwhelmingly social one—he’s been in crunch mode for months and I’ve been under the weather, but we packed in FOUR separate engagements, and he even managed to mow the lawn and do laundry (while I lazed around and caught up with […]

Amy Webb’s Ted Talk about hacking online dating

I’ve mentioned Amy Webb before, and her book Data: A Love Story. She recently gave a TED Talk on the same subject, which is pretty darn entertaining. But of course, being an online dating coach with lots of experience and strong opinions, I have to pick apart her approach and warn you away from the […]

Monday roundup

Hey lovebirds, hope you all had a fantastic weekend! I sure did. :) My husband has been working insane hours lately, but he actually got to stay home and chill out with his wife for the first time in a while. It was pretty swell. Also, I got my podcast back up and running! Listen, […]

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