You have to go on a LOT of dates

Mallory Schlossberg wrote a great post over at TheFrisky about her hot-and-cold relationship with OKCupid. She cracks me up! She complains about how she’s on again and off again with the service, partly because she kind of overloads herself with millions of dates and then finds something wrong with each and every one. But after a few rounds of doing that, she starts to realize that it might sorta be working for her:

Let me expound on that — the standards part. I may not have stringent standards, per se, but I certainly have developed qualifiers, and I know what I consider unacceptable in a dating situation. I only could have gotten to that point by going on dates, so perhaps my hot and cold relationship with OKCupid is indicative of more than just my hot and cold personality, but is demonstrating that OKCupid is, in fact, doing something right.

Prior to making my first online profile, I had no idea what was okay and not okay by me. (I don’t like misogynists. WHO KNEW!?) My disappointment (or cynicism as some may call it), can be viewed as a sign of strength: it’s me recognizing that I won’t settle. I also have exchanged the usual “Does he like me?” for “But do I like him?” Someone calling me after a first date is no longer a reason for me to stock up on lacy panties. I know all of this because of OKCupid.

This is a big part of why I won’t help clients by ghost-writing their profiles or correspondence for them. (Aside from the fact that I consider that unethical.) Basically, going through the process, even if you have a little help, is an important part of the whole search for love, and it helps you value it so much more when you do eventually meet the right person. I swear they’re out there, guys! You just kinda have to grind through a lot of dates (er, no pun intended) before you start to meet the people that you might end up spending your life with.

And TAKE NOTE, kids—here’s some advice outside of Aunt Virginia’s Expertise that says answering fewer smarmy OKCupid questions is better. So don’t just take it from me, take it from Mallory—if you feel giving your profile a facelift, make sure you take time to clear out the question clutter too! ♥

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