On managing your sexy pics

Today on Episode 8 of The Crossover was an important discussion on sexual harassment.* Well-known UI designer and speaker Sarah Parmenter experienced some seriously vile treatment during a conference she spoke at last year. Some jackass faked porn pictures of her, posted them publicly, and went out of his way to notify everyone in her professional circle about their existence.

In Sarah’s case, said photos were fake. But in MANY cases, they aren’t. We live in this weird digital world of sexting and constant LTE connectivity, so it’s easier than ever for people’s private photos to end up very, very public. Realistically, swapping sexy images or videos with someone you haven’t known for a good few months isn’t a super smart thing to do. Yet so many of my clients confess to swapping titillating images that I feel like I might as well help you manage your sexting. (Hashtag alert!)

-TRY to think big picture. You may be 22 now, but could you possibly want to run for office in your 60s? What if you write a book someday and become kind of a media figure? Are you in a line of work where you’ll be fired or just looked down upon for a youthful indiscretion JPEG?

-Keep in mind that you seriously don’t know the people you’re pseudo-meeting online. Internet people count as strangers for AT LEAST the first three dates. More like the first few months, though, or until you decide to start dating exclusively. While hiring me can help up your chances of going on dates with sound minds instead of sketchy jerks, you need to give it some time before you trust anyone with content you wouldn’t want your mama to see.

-Be prudent if you decide to record any of your bedroom adventures. Don’t videotape sex with someone whose mother you haven’t met yet. Don’t FaceTime topless before you’ve actually swapped saliva in person. Don’t post racy stuff very publicly like CrunkBear did if you know you live and work in a conservative, sex-negative community. Know that any pic or video taken of you on any device these days can be posted to Twitter or Facebook with the flick of a finger, even accidentally. If you’re trying to get racy and recordy, maybe consider enabling Airplane Mode until you’ve managed your media. Consider blurring out any identifiable tattoos, piercings, and/or your face. Heck, wear a wig. Don’t shoot in front of your bedroom wall covered in easily recognized posters/art. Find somewhere your own family members wouldn’t recognize.

-Hold the reins. Insist on getting a copy of any nudie media for yourself, or better yet, insist on managing the original files yourself. (Heck, make some fun silly sexy game out of it.) Make sure you know where Mr. Second Date Bang’s iPhone is before you start going at it. Passcode your own phone if it was the one you shot with. Keep control of the situation if you even suspect a tiny bit like you’re the one who would be the participant more harmed/exploited if the footage got out.

Okay, kids. Be safe. Be smart. Take consensual adult photos and try not to be short-sighted about them. Carry on! ♥

*If you’d like to read a much lengthier post about my personal experiences with sexual harassment, you can do so here. Check out Whitney’s post too.

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