NYC’s ‘most popular’ straight gal weighs in on OkCupid

Remember that piece a couple months back about NYC’s most messaged singles? The straight gal from that roster wrote a thoughtful follow-up post on xoJane.

Lauren Urasek was forthcoming about the ups and downs of being popular on OkCupid. She, like anyone, winds up going on first dates where she wishes there was a second one but the other party isn’t interested. As she puts it,

Not even the most messaged girl on OkCupid is immune to rejection.

She also sees the problem of having too many options. Sometimes there are guys who might be amazing to be with, but the constant roster of potential suitors can skew your experience:

That person could be the love of my life if I let the relationship develop further, but I don’t necessarily have a reason to go on a second date if I’m not blown away by the first.

She also sums up her appeal pretty succinctly:

I’ve been asked plenty of times what makes me the most messaged girl. I don’t know the answer to this. Maybe it’s the tattoos, blue eyes, correct spelling of my profile and that I don’t write things like “I’m living my life to the fullest and I love long walks on the beach!”

I mean, she’s gorgeous and kinda nerdy and intelligent and sexy. But underneath this all, she has a super-punchy profile and she does not fill it with lame clichés. Can you tell I think that last part is the most important? Because I do! :)

Practical takeaways from Lauren:

  • Post high-quality flattering photos, no matter what you look like when you don’t try. Try a little in your pics; everyone else does.
  • If you’re “meh” on someone and they want a second date, go for it. The relationship often takes a little more time to bloom than a single awkward high-stakes encounter.
  • No matter how snappy your messages are, they’re not going to win anyone over if you aren’t rocking a profile that shows your looks and personality off.
  • No one has it easy, but bitterness is never attractive. Try not to let this process make you feel jaded about dating in general.

What do you think? Have you been emulating aspects of Lauren’s approach? Wanna tell me about it?

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