Latest Blog Posts

Twitter Tips for Tinder™

Hey all! A Twitter pal recently shared an insight on how he used Tinder to great success.

If you ever need to help someone whose preferred type of partner is “silly with a hint of bitterness” – putting “idiot” as the only word in the Tinder bio works wonders. It’s a scarily good filter.

I agree! Let’s get all analytical for a sec and talk about WHY this works well.


I’m always telling you guys that humor is essential in online dating, right? But Tinder doesn’t leave you loads and loads of space to show off just how effortlessly breezy your joke style is. Making use of what space it does give you with a quip like this is an excellent way to show that light-heartedness very concisely.

Brevity (= witty)

Need I say more? ;)

Kindness (but not smothering kindness)

Humor often requires a target. *Someone* is the butt of most jokes. When you yourself are the target, you’re not being mean or making fun of other people. By default it makes you seem that much nicer. But that snark is still in there, so you’re not JUST a softie.


I’ve talked about this before, but it bears repeating here: self deprecation is actually a form of humblebragging about how great you are and how confident you feel about yourself. After all, if you’re secure enough to make fun of yourself, it shows that you actually do know in your heart that you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

So what does your Tinder bio say? Mine is pretty boring by necessity, because it’s actually marketing copy instead of dating copy. It’s how I make it clear that I’m an online dating coach and not some great Tinder nerd catch, haha. So I try to keep it light-hearted by rotating through a roster of silly pictures. But *your* Tinder bio should be silly and fun!

This particular picture is mainly just to amuse me.


Learning from NYC’s most popular singles

NY Magazine ran a fascinating interview with NYC’s four most popular OkCupid members—a straight gal, a straight guy, a gay gal, and a gay guy. Check out these (clearly highly stylized) swanky portraits: I urge you to read the entire piece. It’s fun! But if you want to skip right to the practical takeaways, here […]

My first post on Medium

Hey lovebirds, hope you’ve had a great week! I wanted to share my first-ever piece on Medium, all about how much I dislike default text. There’s even some online dating relevancy in there: …straight guys, frustrated by low response rates from women, start to broaden their outreach by messaging a larger number of potentially less […]

Online dating for designers?

I was just browsing my feedly this morning, checking out what was going on in the pockets of the world that I regularly read. And I came across something that’s HUGE, you guys. Simply massive. Creative Mornings is a wonderful series of free breakfast lectures that was started by design guru Swiss Miss. I’ve only […]

Deconstructing the Joke

I had such a great time recording episode 8 of The Heartographer Podcast, with my very special guest Matthew Baldwin! He’s sometimes better known as Defective Yeti, and he’s been a funny guy on the Internet since most of you guys knew what the word blog meant. (Myself included.) Matthew was good enough to make […]

The Doubleclicks ROCK! (Folk?)

Last night, my fantastic pal Jean took me and several other nerdy friends to an amazing nerd rock concert. The lineup included four amazing different bands that were all super duper dork-tastic. One in particular stood out to me, not necessarily because I loved their music the bestest (they were all amazing), but mostly because […]

Online dating advice videos, coming soon!

Hi all! I’m experimenting with tackling a few more topics via video, instead of just in writing or on the podcast. (Crikey, you  might not think I need one more outlet since I also have this other blog plus my newsletter and an advice column, but people are actually requesting online dating advice videos! Yay?) Let […]

Eye on the details

For many years, I worked in quality assurance (QA) for various software and video game companies. I kinda did this side-by-side with helping people find love online, but my day jobs were always in some sort of testing. And I love testing! I’m fluent in several languages, so I’m able to spot issues like inconsistent […]

New Monday-Wednesday-Friday schedule

Hi guys! You might’ve noticed that I tend to just post here about online dating topics whenever something strikes me, be it a link to online dating in the news, a book release I think you’ll find interesting, or a topic that strikes my fancy. Willy-nilly is sort of how I roll, ya know? I […]

NextDraft – a shameless (and unaffiliated) plug

I started subscribing to Dave Pell’s email newsletter NextDraft a few weeks ago, and I’m so glad I did. I get my online dating news from a variety of sources—Google News alerts, online dating blogs, and people from Twitter and who send me links they think I might like. (I do also occasionally see […]

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