Latest Blog Posts

A mini online dating TV roundup

Today is the day my Apple Watch is supposed to get delivered! I can’t WAIT to make you all some videos about how to turn off or better manage annoying dating app notifications. But since it’s not here yet, we’ll have to settle for this other blog post instead. :)

Burger King’s recent Chicken Fries commercial caught my attention. Have you seen this? Kind of morbid since the fries it advertises are MADE OUT OF THE PROTAGONIST, but whatever—I’m an expert in online dating, not fast food marketing. :)

(I have no idea why it plays twice in that video, but it embeds way cleaner than the crazy iframe code from Burger King’s official site so let’s all agree to live with it.)

That got me thinking about how many other online dating references I’ve been seeing on TV shows lately.

Have any of you watched Man Seeking Woman on FX? I was initially kind of horrified by the show, because some of the promo trailers seemed to feature shockingly misogynistic humor. But I recorded it anyway out of weird curiosity, and I’m so glad I kept an open mind.

It turns out that it was much more satire about ALL aspects of masculinity, femininity, dating and relationship tropes, and general single woes. It’s pretty damn hilarious, even if some jokes are more of a win than others. The first season is over now, but I highly recommend watching it  if you can find it.

The vector art title sequence is interesting, too—very different than most shows.

Linking out because their embed code is so angry.

In the pilot, I couldn’t help but study this faux Tinder interface. (Tinderface?) I like the “Nah” stamp after a left swipe, haha. (Sorry about the weird circle-thingy interface overlay; that’s from the tool I used to capture this screenshot. I can’t get in and take a new one since the episodes are no longer on the FX site. Doncha hate that?)

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 3.11.51 PM

The way they showcased the character looking at a Tinder profile when the phone screen wasn’t as prominent was also well implemented.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 3.07.55 PM

Don’t you think shows are getting better about stuff like that? Like with House of Cards and The Mindy Project showing little text message bubbles right on the screen instead of an awkward fake phone interface. (Ugh, Showtime’s Dexter was THE WORST for that, remember?)

By the way, there’s an interesting video about texting interfaces in film, if you’re interested in that stuff. :)

Then of course there was HBO’s Looking, which I’m SO SAD is coming to an end. :( The season finale (very mild spoiler alert) featured an interesting use case of Grindr, the pre-Tinder geolocation-based dating app for gay guys. I don’t want to say any more if you haven’t seen it, because the show is awesome and you should totally watch it if you haven’t yet.

Looking on HBO

But I loved the way it accurately depicted how totally normalized online dating is, especially in the gay community—the gays have been savvy about how technology can help with romantic connections for WAY longer than hetero newbies who think Tinder is some magical novelty. :)

Then there’s the ABC show Selfie, which I thought was sharp, funny, and totally underrated.

I am done fighting the weird sizing of this clip. Let’s just accept it. (We’re doing that a lot today, I realize. Sorry!)

I’m sort of surprised by how terribly Selfie is getting reviewed.

Not only does it tackle the obvious stuff like the obsessively curated self-image of its female protagonist, but it also takes on modern communication (texting vs. email) and some funny social media stuff like how some people’s only digital footprint is in their effusive Yelp reviews. And of course, online dating, as in the clip above!

By the way, folks, don’t take Eliza’s tips for what makes a great dating pic:

“Can you lick your lips and look off in the distance?”

“What?”

“…I want to add a photo of you to my contacts, but I don’t… have one… so could you unbutton your shirt, lean against that door frame, and just like slowly lick your lips like this?”

Yeah, not unless you’re looking to appeal to gals like Eliza. ;)

Anyway, between all these shows plus a few throwaway references to Tinder on other mainstream sitcoms, I’m happy to see online dating portrayed as being realistically common.

Know what I’d like to see next? An episode of Girls dealing with online dating. Come on, Lena; you KNOW not all New Yorkers meet their cute significant others at their place of employment. Keep it real for me! :)

What about you? What online dating references have you noticed in pop culture lately? And where the hell is my Apple Watch?

Some pre-Valentine poetic advice

Hi y’all! Ready for your annual reminder of my thoughts on Valentine’s Day? :) 1) Valentine’s Day is a made-up corporate bullshit holiday that puts enormous unnecessary pressure on both single and non-single people! 2) It’s really fucking hard to get a reservation! 3) As Dan Savage likes to point out, it’s kind of high […]

Getting engaged is no picnic

Just a friendly reminder that once you finally meet the person you want to settle down with, and you both bang like bunnies and take down your respective OkCupid profiles, all is not necessarily simple and awesome. Wedding planning can be a chore, haha. (NSFW language, but totally worth a watch.) (via A Cup of Jo)

Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hi lovebirds! Happy Valentine’s Day, or as my friend Jen likes to call it, “VD.” (By the way, she and I are Valentine Twinsies this year—we both plan to stay in, cook steaks, and watch House of Cards Season 2 on Netflix.) Even though I think this is a bit of a silly holiday, I […]

New Year’s Resolutions for lovebirds

Innards of a Roomba.

Hi Lovebirds! I hope you’re all going to have a wonderful safe time this New Year’s Eve. Enjoy your day tomorrow! Regular Heartographer business starts back up on the 2nd; I’m looking forward to getting back into the swing of things with y’all. I wrote a silly little piece of Medium about New Year’s Resolutions, […]

Singles Warehouse piece

Hey folks, hope you all had a lovely weekend! Grant and I had an overwhelmingly social one—he’s been in crunch mode for months and I’ve been under the weather, but we packed in FOUR separate engagements, and he even managed to mow the lawn and do laundry (while I lazed around and caught up with […]

Amy Webb’s Ted Talk about hacking online dating

I’ve mentioned Amy Webb before, and her book Data: A Love Story. She recently gave a TED Talk on the same subject, which is pretty darn entertaining. But of course, being an online dating coach with lots of experience and strong opinions, I have to pick apart her approach and warn you away from the […]

Let’s vlog it out.

My tennis elbow is killing me today, so let’s try a different format! Here’s me, awkwardly vlogging in one big unedited take including the dead air at the beginning and end. Be gentle! Talk to you again in writing form on Wednesday! (Or, ya know, all the time on Twitter.)

How to take great solo selfies

SELFIES. There, I said it. I hate that word, but I hated “spam” and “blog” too and also get off my lawn. So, let’s embrace the neologism and take SELFIES! There are a few reasons for this post. One is that I have many past, current, and hopefully future clients who could legitimately use these […]

Get my blog posts via email!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join my free mailing list!

Sign up for The Heartographer newsletter—online dating advice
Optional, but I like knowing who the human is that subscribed. :)
Optional but helpful for me, especially if we know each other IRL or online!
* = required field