Online dating doesn’t have to stress you out.

Get in touch already!Are you sick of going on lame dates, or never getting replies to your OkCupid messages? I’m here to help!

Curious to learn more? Check out my FAQ or pricing page. Prefer to talk to a human first? Me too! Call my office at (206) 783-0275 or drop me a line to schedule a free intro chat. You’ll get some starter advice, and we’ll know right away if we should work together. :)

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Latest Blog Posts

Twitter Tips for Tinder™

Hey all! A Twitter pal recently shared an insight on how he used Tinder to great success.

If you ever need to help someone whose preferred type of partner is “silly with a hint of bitterness” – putting “idiot” as the only word in the Tinder bio works wonders. It’s a scarily good filter.

I agree! Let’s get all analytical for a sec and talk about WHY this works well.

Levity

I’m always telling you guys that humor is essential in online dating, right? But Tinder doesn’t leave you loads and loads of space to show off just how effortlessly breezy your joke style is. Making use of what space it does give you with a quip like this is an excellent way to show that light-heartedness very concisely.

Brevity (= witty)

Need I say more? ;)

Kindness (but not smothering kindness)

Humor often requires a target. *Someone* is the butt of most jokes. When you yourself are the target, you’re not being mean or making fun of other people. By default it makes you seem that much nicer. But that snark is still in there, so you’re not JUST a softie.

Confidence

I’ve talked about this before, but it bears repeating here: self deprecation is actually a form of humblebragging about how great you are and how confident you feel about yourself. After all, if you’re secure enough to make fun of yourself, it shows that you actually do know in your heart that you’re good enough, you’re smart enough, and doggone it, people like you.

So what does your Tinder bio say? Mine is pretty boring by necessity, because it’s actually marketing copy instead of dating copy. It’s how I make it clear that I’m an online dating coach and not some great Tinder nerd catch, haha. So I try to keep it light-hearted by rotating through a roster of silly pictures. But *your* Tinder bio should be silly and fun!

This particular picture is mainly just to amuse me.

 

Next Mug Shots event in Seattle on 10/26!

Richard and me. Me and Richard. Richard looks great. I look insane.

Hey everyone! I hope your transition into fall has been splendid. Mine has been great, but BUSY! And a little crazy… you know how they say things happen in threes? Well, our family car broke down, our washing machine flooded our basement, and the shelving in our closet came crashing down in the night narrowly […]

Ye Olde Tyme Usernames

Source: Flickr CC

Over the weekend, Grant was Googling something random and came across this PDF of Old English trade names and descriptions. I’m a linguistics BA who loves geeky creative portmanteaux and playfully pretentious references, so I immediately proclaimed that these would be a fantastic source of online dating username inspiration for a certain geeky set. I think […]

Latest newsletter is out!

Are y’all on my newsletter? Just a reminder that you might want to be! August’s issue came out today, about dating in and out of your league, and how to optimize for dating certain physical traits you find desirable without sounding shallow and obsessed with appearances. Sounds useful, right? I hope it was. Check out that […]

Flaking out on plans

haaaaaa

This video from Alex Cornell totally cracked me up. (Via SwissMiss) It’s a little NSFW I guess, but all the curse words are bleeped. Here’s the thing; Alex is describing a totally real phenomenon, that’s in part technology and in part shifting social norms. The two really do go hand in hand. But rather than […]

OkCupid removed unpopular questions

Tons of my clients use OkCupid, and sometimes I have access to their profile backends for when we’re working on new writing, or when I need to see detailed info on their messaging or browsing history. The other day, I was working with one such client and I noticed something weird. Two specific questions seemed to […]

Getting engaged is no picnic

Four colors.

Just a friendly reminder that once you finally meet the person you want to settle down with, and you both bang like bunnies and take down your respective OkCupid profiles, all is not necessarily simple and awesome. Wedding planning can be a chore, haha. (NSFW language, but totally worth a watch.) (via A Cup of Jo)

How and when to ask for free advice

Source: Saint Murse on Flickr

I get a *lot* of requests to help people for free. I usually offer a few tips, because at the end of the day, I care perhaps to a weird degree about helping people exit bad relationships and find good ones. But I can’t and don’t always jump into Freebie Mode. I’d like to take a […]

NYC Online dating photo happy hour!

This is the view of Manhattan from the roof of the Brooklyn apartment I'm staying at. :)

Hey folks! I’ll be on the east coast again this fall. This means you Eastern Time folks can get a piece of me! I don’t have time for individual client sessions, but I hope to host another online dating photo shoot happy hour. Woohoo! Everyone has just  been eating these up; they’re amazing for singles but […]

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