Online dating can be kind of awesome.

See? I'm ever so easy to talk to!Are you sick of going on dates that never click, or barely getting any replies to your OkCupid messages? Does endless Tinder swiping stress you out?

I’m here to help! You can book one-on-one coaching with me to cut to the chase. If you prefer to get a feel for me first, drop me a line to schedule a free intro chat.

Too broke to hire my expertise? No worries! Subscribe to my blog, my free advice newsletter, and my advice podcast Steady. (You can even call in to Steady and get your questions answered on the air for free.)

One way or another, I’ll demystify online dating for you!

Latest Blog Posts

A mini online dating TV roundup

Today is the day my Apple Watch is supposed to get delivered! I can’t WAIT to make you all some videos about how to turn off or better manage annoying dating app notifications. But since it’s not here yet, we’ll have to settle for this other blog post instead. :)

Burger King’s recent Chicken Fries commercial caught my attention. Have you seen this? Kind of morbid since the fries it advertises are MADE OUT OF THE PROTAGONIST, but whatever—I’m an expert in online dating, not fast food marketing. :)

(I have no idea why it plays twice in that video, but it embeds way cleaner than the crazy iframe code from Burger King’s official site so let’s all agree to live with it.)

That got me thinking about how many other online dating references I’ve been seeing on TV shows lately.

Have any of you watched Man Seeking Woman on FX? I was initially kind of horrified by the show, because some of the promo trailers seemed to feature shockingly misogynistic humor. But I recorded it anyway out of weird curiosity, and I’m so glad I kept an open mind.

It turns out that it was much more satire about ALL aspects of masculinity, femininity, dating and relationship tropes, and general single woes. It’s pretty damn hilarious, even if some jokes are more of a win than others. The first season is over now, but I highly recommend watching it  if you can find it.

The vector art title sequence is interesting, too—very different than most shows.

Linking out because their embed code is so angry.

In the pilot, I couldn’t help but study this faux Tinder interface. (Tinderface?) I like the “Nah” stamp after a left swipe, haha. (Sorry about the weird circle-thingy interface overlay; that’s from the tool I used to capture this screenshot. I can’t get in and take a new one since the episodes are no longer on the FX site. Doncha hate that?)

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 3.11.51 PM

The way they showcased the character looking at a Tinder profile when the phone screen wasn’t as prominent was also well implemented.

Screen Shot 2015-04-04 at 3.07.55 PM

Don’t you think shows are getting better about stuff like that? Like with House of Cards and The Mindy Project showing little text message bubbles right on the screen instead of an awkward fake phone interface. (Ugh, Showtime’s Dexter was THE WORST for that, remember?)

By the way, there’s an interesting video about texting interfaces in film, if you’re interested in that stuff. :)

Then of course there was HBO’s Looking, which I’m SO SAD is coming to an end. :( The season finale (very mild spoiler alert) featured an interesting use case of Grindr, the pre-Tinder geolocation-based dating app for gay guys. I don’t want to say any more if you haven’t seen it, because the show is awesome and you should totally watch it if you haven’t yet.

Looking on HBO

But I loved the way it accurately depicted how totally normalized online dating is, especially in the gay community—the gays have been savvy about how technology can help with romantic connections for WAY longer than hetero newbies who think Tinder is some magical novelty. :)

Then there’s the ABC show Selfie, which I thought was sharp, funny, and totally underrated.

I am done fighting the weird sizing of this clip. Let’s just accept it. (We’re doing that a lot today, I realize. Sorry!)

I’m sort of surprised by how terribly Selfie is getting reviewed.

Not only does it tackle the obvious stuff like the obsessively curated self-image of its female protagonist, but it also takes on modern communication (texting vs. email) and some funny social media stuff like how some people’s only digital footprint is in their effusive Yelp reviews. And of course, online dating, as in the clip above!

By the way, folks, don’t take Eliza’s tips for what makes a great dating pic:

“Can you lick your lips and look off in the distance?”


“…I want to add a photo of you to my contacts, but I don’t… have one… so could you unbutton your shirt, lean against that door frame, and just like slowly lick your lips like this?”

Yeah, not unless you’re looking to appeal to gals like Eliza. ;)

Anyway, between all these shows plus a few throwaway references to Tinder on other mainstream sitcoms, I’m happy to see online dating portrayed as being realistically common.

Know what I’d like to see next? An episode of Girls dealing with online dating. Come on, Lena; you KNOW not all New Yorkers meet their cute significant others at their place of employment. Keep it real for me! :)

What about you? What online dating references have you noticed in pop culture lately? And where the hell is my Apple Watch?

Email Debt Forgiveness Day… for online dating?

Do any of y’all listen to the podcast Reply All? (If not, you totally should start!) It’s a delightfully geeky, entertaining, well produced, and insightful show, started by a guy who left NPR and started a podcast about starting up a podcast company. This is that company’s first podcast. (Yeah, take your time parsing that […]

WWDC Mug Shots?

Some of you know about Mug Shots, my events to help online dating clients get better pictures for their profiles. Some of you also know that I’m kind of a tech geek even when I’m not helping people wrangle their OkCupid profiles. I’ve been toying with the idea of hosting a WWDC-timed Mug Shots event […]

How to get free dating help via Steady

Get it? MUG SHOT? You see because it's

As y’all know, I just launched Steady, a call-in dating and relationship advice podcast on 5by5. This is a great way for people who can’t afford my coaching to get their questions answered for FREE! In case you’re unfamiliar with podcasts or 5by5 or me, I wanted to give y’all a few tidbits about how to make the most of […]

Announcing Steady on 5by5!


I have something SO COOL to show all y’all. Are you ready? It’s… Steady! This is a call-in dating and relationship advice podcast on 5by5. Kinda appropriate show art, right? ;) I can’t WAIT, y’all! This has been in the works for a while now; I’ve been dying to have a podcast again for ages. […]

Should you pay for Tinder Plus?


Tinder recently launched its new paid features, known as Tinder Plus. So far, they’re kinda lackluster and downright offensive to some people. NYC’s Metro US featured a Q&A with me about Tinder Plus, if you’d like to check it out! But if you’d rather read my own blog-postier analysis, here we go. :) Undo left […]

Some pre-Valentine poetic advice


Hi y’all! Ready for your annual reminder of my thoughts on Valentine’s Day? :) 1) Valentine’s Day is a made-up corporate bullshit holiday that puts enormous unnecessary pressure on both single and non-single people! 2) It’s really fucking hard to get a reservation! 3) As Dan Savage likes to point out, it’s kind of high […]

Nerding out about online safety

Data Privacy Month Quiz

I don’t usually get excited when social media marketers send me infographics and ask me to publish them on my site. See, most of the folks who do this are shilling some scare-tactics advice to try and get you to pay for weird services or products that you don’t need. So imagine my surprise and […]

Digital picture paranoia


Hey y’all! I’m cavalier about my picture being on the internet, because I kind of have to be in order to build up a presence for my business. But LOTS of you are creeped out by the idea of some rando seeing pics of you online. (I totally get that.) I crowd-sourced some info about […]

Get my blog posts via email!

Enter your email address to subscribe to this blog and receive notifications of new posts by email.

Join my free mailing list!

Sign up for The Heartographer newsletter—online dating advice
* = required field