Online dating can be kind of awesome.

See? I'm ever so easy to talk to!Are you sick of going on dates that never click, or barely getting any replies to your OkCupid messages? Does endless Tinder swiping stress you out?

I’m here to help! You can book one-on-one coaching with me to cut to the chase. If you prefer to get a feel for me first, drop me a line to schedule a free intro chat.

Too broke to hire my expertise? No worries! Subscribe to my blog, my free advice newsletter, and my advice podcast Steady. (You can even call in to Steady and get your questions answered on the air for free.)

One way or another, I’ll demystify online dating for you!

Latest Blog Posts

San Francisco Mug Shots on June 9!

We’re doing it! We’re having Mug Shots in San Francisco on Tuesday, June 9th, from 3:30-5:30 PM, at an awesome outdoor patio in walking distance from all the main WWDC action. It’s a mere $129 (plus whatever you consume) per person for a fun happy hour that’s ridiculously cheap compared to a full portrait session. Email me to claim a spot; space is very limited.

Let me help you decide to come!

Mug Shots will help you out if:

-Your Twitter avatar is from 2007, is a drawing, or is an 8-bit fake representation of your visage.
-You pitched your startup to Mashable and included a graduation picture in the “founder bio” section.
-Your main picture on Tinder is a selfie (or you’re reluctant to join Tinder because you have no good pictures).
-You only have one cheesy stiff work head shot on a mottled gray/blue background, reminiscent of school pictures and/or realtor sandwich boards.
-You are one of those people who “hates being photographed,” “doesn’t look good on camera,” or simply hates every picture you’ve ever seen of yourself.

Friends, I get it. Most of these things were true for me. I feel your pain—and I designed these events to help people get over the awkward hurdle of hating most pictures of themselves.

We make people look RAD. And fun, and natural, and happy, and social, and slimmer and more attractive and less bald than their usual selves if that’s important to you, but not in a creepy excessive airbrushed fake kind of way. Mug Shots pictures ROCK. Just take it from these folks who have attended my events and loved the results:

Just wanted to say that I had a lot of fun yesterday [at a Mug Shots happy hour].  It takes an impressive skill to gel a group a strangers into a relaxed bunch of people just being themselves…  Kudos!
-Ivan, 35, Seattle

I changed my Facebook profile pic to [one of the pictures from Virginia’s Mug Shots event] and the last time I got so many likes–87 and a bunch of comments– was when I got my doctorate from Harvard. Seriously! This is telling me a lot about how much a picture matters!
-Celine, 35, New York City

At the risk of seeming like a narcissist, I’m showcasing a few pics of my photographer, myself, and my husband, because my past online dating Mug Shots clients didn’t sign up to be examples for Developer Nerd Marketing and I respect their right to limited marketing for my benefit. :) You can check out my not-just-WWDC Mug Shots page for dating-specific examples.


IMG_1114 you're truly enjoying yourself!

In a nutshell, my photographer and I create a chill environment (probably with some alcohol) in which we all use tech in a casual way and capture natural moments where you look good because you’re actually enjoying yourself. (We will absolutely be playing Spaceteam, by the way.)


Drop me a line ASAP to reserve a spot; space is super limited!

Dating apps on Apple Watch


I got an Apple Watch because I’m a big dork, and I was really excited to be an early adopter of this new product. (I know smartwatches have existed for ages, but I’m deep in the Apple ecosystem so I wasn’t that interested in offerings from other companies.) But in secret, I also got it […]

A mini online dating TV roundup

Today is the day my Apple Watch is supposed to get delivered! I can’t WAIT to make you all some videos about how to turn off or better manage annoying dating app notifications. But since it’s not here yet, we’ll have to settle for this other blog post instead. :) Burger King’s recent Chicken Fries commercial […]

Email Debt Forgiveness Day… for online dating?

Do any of y’all listen to the podcast Reply All? (If not, you totally should start!) It’s a delightfully geeky, entertaining, well produced, and insightful show, started by a guy who left NPR and started a podcast about starting up a podcast company. This is that company’s first podcast. (Yeah, take your time parsing that […]

WWDC Mug Shots


Some of you know about Mug Shots, my events to help online dating clients get better pictures for their profiles. Some of you also know that I’m kind of a tech geek even when I’m not helping people wrangle their OkCupid profiles. I’ve been toying with the idea of hosting a WWDC-timed Mug Shots event […]

How to get free dating help via Steady

Get it? MUG SHOT? You see because it's

As y’all know, I just launched Steady, a call-in dating and relationship advice podcast on 5by5. This is a great way for people who can’t afford my coaching to get their questions answered for FREE! In case you’re unfamiliar with podcasts or 5by5 or me, I wanted to give y’all a few tidbits about how to make the most of […]

Announcing Steady on 5by5!


I have something SO COOL to show all y’all. Are you ready? It’s… Steady! This is a call-in dating and relationship advice podcast on 5by5. Kinda appropriate show art, right? ;) I can’t WAIT, y’all! This has been in the works for a while now; I’ve been dying to have a podcast again for ages. […]

Should you pay for Tinder Plus?


Tinder recently launched its new paid features, known as Tinder Plus. So far, they’re kinda lackluster and downright offensive to some people. NYC’s Metro US featured a Q&A with me about Tinder Plus, if you’d like to check it out! But if you’d rather read my own blog-postier analysis, here we go. :) Undo left […]

Some pre-Valentine poetic advice


Hi y’all! Ready for your annual reminder of my thoughts on Valentine’s Day? :) 1) Valentine’s Day is a made-up corporate bullshit holiday that puts enormous unnecessary pressure on both single and non-single people! 2) It’s really fucking hard to get a reservation! 3) As Dan Savage likes to point out, it’s kind of high […]

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